I think you have argued your point to the best of your ability but what worries me is the fact that you are generalising. First of all, not all girls are what you perceive them to be. I had assumptions that finding friends would not be the easiest task but to my surprise, it wasn’t at all what I had expected it to be. I have friends that when I first got to my res I thought, there was no way they were going to be my friends. Obviously I was being judgemental because the very girls I thought were out of my league are my “best buddies” so far. If you have been through hardships with your female friends I think you should have found a better angle of attacking this particular issue because to me you’re just generalising. This goes for the res concept as well. Again, it depends on your experiences of res life. To me, res is been the best place I could ever have imagined it to be.
Check Von
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Men In Our Lives
The Men in Our Lives
D
ivorce, death and the irresponsibility of many of our fathers out there has robbed many young women the warmth and stability of a healthy family situation. There is no such thing as a perfect family, but surely every individual, every young person; every girl deserves to have some kind of father figure in their lives.
It is a sad and an unfortunate fact that many first years that come to Rhodes yearly come from broken families, headless families, families with no father figures and many of these first years are affected psychologically by this, in one way or another. Many of these young adults come from single-parent-headed families and for many of them this single remaining parent is the mother. Having come from a broken family, a fatherless family, I realize how deep the implications of having no father-figure in ones life. However, I decided to narrow my observation to the effects fatherlessness has on the young girls that came to varsity for the first time this year.
I spoke to a young lady in my res, who lost her father when her parents decided to get a divorce at the age of ten, and asked her about how this had affected her growing up. S’nazo seems to believe that many of the mishaps in her life have been aggravated by the absence of a father figure in her life. This young lady has attended counseling for the fifth year this year and her stumbling block has been the inability to commit and trust, especially males in her life. S’nazo is now homosexual, and she dates other women. She believes that this is a conscious decision as she refuses to be subjected to the same rejection she felt when her dad left. S’nazo is not the only young lady I spoke to, I also spoke to Tumi who had lost her father to a nasty car accident two years ago. Tumi is still struggling to come to terms with the loss of her father as she personally believes that a father figure in one’s life is pivotal. I then sat and did a little self-introspection about the issue, because unfortunately I am part of the statistics, I too, lost my father at a very tender age. I realized who better to know the effect of having no father figure has on one’s life. It was always the little things that really got to me, the Father’s Day cards, the Parent’s meetings, the prize giving ceremonies and the sight of my mother sitting there alone and beaming with pride, ALONE. The day of my matric farewell, the day of my valedictory, the day I received my matric results, the day I first came to Rhodes, these were all significant days in my life and my own father was not there to appreciate them with me.
Psychologically this is said to have permanent implications on girls and these carry through to their adult lives and even through to their own children one day. In Victoria Secunda’s book, Women and Their Fathers , she states there explicitly that the absence of a father figure in a girl’s life is far more server e than it is for boys. She says women without fathers grow up to be far more dependent on the men in their lives, or are simply unable to commit and trust other males. She says the main role a father plays on a child’s life is to help them develop their own competence and independence. This then obviously lacks to some extent in the lives of the young women who grow up without father figures in their lives.
When one comes to place like varsity, it is a test of one’s character and values. Many of the decisions you make here could and should affect the rest of your life. It is therefore important that one has a solid up-bringing. No one has a perfect life, however it is important we draw attention to the pain some young women who walk around this campus experience and be sensitized to it. I pray that all the girls that have grown up and continue to grow without father figures in their lives, find the strength to continue holding their heads up high.
D
ivorce, death and the irresponsibility of many of our fathers out there has robbed many young women the warmth and stability of a healthy family situation. There is no such thing as a perfect family, but surely every individual, every young person; every girl deserves to have some kind of father figure in their lives.
It is a sad and an unfortunate fact that many first years that come to Rhodes yearly come from broken families, headless families, families with no father figures and many of these first years are affected psychologically by this, in one way or another. Many of these young adults come from single-parent-headed families and for many of them this single remaining parent is the mother. Having come from a broken family, a fatherless family, I realize how deep the implications of having no father-figure in ones life. However, I decided to narrow my observation to the effects fatherlessness has on the young girls that came to varsity for the first time this year.
I spoke to a young lady in my res, who lost her father when her parents decided to get a divorce at the age of ten, and asked her about how this had affected her growing up. S’nazo seems to believe that many of the mishaps in her life have been aggravated by the absence of a father figure in her life. This young lady has attended counseling for the fifth year this year and her stumbling block has been the inability to commit and trust, especially males in her life. S’nazo is now homosexual, and she dates other women. She believes that this is a conscious decision as she refuses to be subjected to the same rejection she felt when her dad left. S’nazo is not the only young lady I spoke to, I also spoke to Tumi who had lost her father to a nasty car accident two years ago. Tumi is still struggling to come to terms with the loss of her father as she personally believes that a father figure in one’s life is pivotal. I then sat and did a little self-introspection about the issue, because unfortunately I am part of the statistics, I too, lost my father at a very tender age. I realized who better to know the effect of having no father figure has on one’s life. It was always the little things that really got to me, the Father’s Day cards, the Parent’s meetings, the prize giving ceremonies and the sight of my mother sitting there alone and beaming with pride, ALONE. The day of my matric farewell, the day of my valedictory, the day I received my matric results, the day I first came to Rhodes, these were all significant days in my life and my own father was not there to appreciate them with me.
Psychologically this is said to have permanent implications on girls and these carry through to their adult lives and even through to their own children one day. In Victoria Secunda’s book, Women and Their Fathers , she states there explicitly that the absence of a father figure in a girl’s life is far more server e than it is for boys. She says women without fathers grow up to be far more dependent on the men in their lives, or are simply unable to commit and trust other males. She says the main role a father plays on a child’s life is to help them develop their own competence and independence. This then obviously lacks to some extent in the lives of the young women who grow up without father figures in their lives.
When one comes to place like varsity, it is a test of one’s character and values. Many of the decisions you make here could and should affect the rest of your life. It is therefore important that one has a solid up-bringing. No one has a perfect life, however it is important we draw attention to the pain some young women who walk around this campus experience and be sensitized to it. I pray that all the girls that have grown up and continue to grow without father figures in their lives, find the strength to continue holding their heads up high.
Monday, October 20, 2008
It sickens me!
Media: Always portraying the worst!
It always and still pains the way the media will always publish the worst side of something. I know the news stories are probably selected according to news values but that does not mean there is only bad to tell about a certain place all the time. This, I see as an indoctrination of the public’s mind.
I noticed how media can programme and manipulate one into thinking that a situation in a country is really the way they put it. I always thought that people from Zimbabwe were poor and that they couldn’t speak English properly. I have never been to Zim and yet I had such perceptions about the country and its people. Where did the spark of my views hail from? The constant reports on how people suffer from hunger and the extreme violence that goes on in that country. Why don’t we ever hear of their intelligence? Why don’t we ever see the infrastructure because surely there are immaculate buildings and elegant recreational facilities? As a result I was totally surprised when I learned that Zimbabweans here at Rhodes have enough. Some even have things that I know I could never have at this age, like a car for example.
Take how people from the West look at Africa, look at what views they have about Africa; look at how their minds are imposed to ideas of the situation of the Motherland. Most of them have never been to Africa but the ideas they have about Africa spells it all out. A friend of mine did her lower grades in England and she says she has never seen such ignorant people in her life. They asked her how she got there, hallo…never heard of flying before? They asked what she flew in, as if a swallow or an eagle took her to England. Asked her how constantly she sees Nelson Mandela. Chances of meeting Tata Mandela are as slim in South Africa as they would be in Madagascar.
I remember when Chris Brown came to South Africa, the places he went to in Johannesburg and how amazed he was at how beautiful the shopping malls in Joburg were. There is an awesome dance group on Jozi and those guys and girls are just of-the-hook. They danced for Chris Brown and the moves they did were just as much hip as CB’s are. He was so fascinate that he said he didn’t think South Africans can dance like they do back in the States. I was really put off, not by what Chris Brown said but by how the media, entertainment in this case do not show the talent that S.A. has. There are so many people that can dance in this country but they are not given adequate publicity.
Western civilians see Africa as this poverty-stricken country… yes people suffer from hunger, people suffer from diseases, but not all Africans are HIV positive, not all African children are beggars.There are just as much street beggars in the western countries; people get raped especially by their family members. Why hasn’t that made a big deal? Why that hasn’t been constantly in papers? Domestic violence has taken its tall in America, and who ever cared to make a big deal about that?
The media portrays Africa as this place with useless people who can’t even make endeavours to save their lives, which is not true! This has been happening for a long time if not forever and I feel that the media is not only informing people but misinforming them as well. We have the idea that everything that is in the media is true and that leave us narrow-minded. I think it’s about time the media did their job and that includes not misinforming people in order to make profit for their own benefit. Now South Africa is being referred to as this crime hole where you don’t stand a chance of coming out if you happen to get in it. I mean there is crime everywhere. If this is the agenda of the media, then I must surely be mistaken.
It always and still pains the way the media will always publish the worst side of something. I know the news stories are probably selected according to news values but that does not mean there is only bad to tell about a certain place all the time. This, I see as an indoctrination of the public’s mind.
I noticed how media can programme and manipulate one into thinking that a situation in a country is really the way they put it. I always thought that people from Zimbabwe were poor and that they couldn’t speak English properly. I have never been to Zim and yet I had such perceptions about the country and its people. Where did the spark of my views hail from? The constant reports on how people suffer from hunger and the extreme violence that goes on in that country. Why don’t we ever hear of their intelligence? Why don’t we ever see the infrastructure because surely there are immaculate buildings and elegant recreational facilities? As a result I was totally surprised when I learned that Zimbabweans here at Rhodes have enough. Some even have things that I know I could never have at this age, like a car for example.
Take how people from the West look at Africa, look at what views they have about Africa; look at how their minds are imposed to ideas of the situation of the Motherland. Most of them have never been to Africa but the ideas they have about Africa spells it all out. A friend of mine did her lower grades in England and she says she has never seen such ignorant people in her life. They asked her how she got there, hallo…never heard of flying before? They asked what she flew in, as if a swallow or an eagle took her to England. Asked her how constantly she sees Nelson Mandela. Chances of meeting Tata Mandela are as slim in South Africa as they would be in Madagascar.
I remember when Chris Brown came to South Africa, the places he went to in Johannesburg and how amazed he was at how beautiful the shopping malls in Joburg were. There is an awesome dance group on Jozi and those guys and girls are just of-the-hook. They danced for Chris Brown and the moves they did were just as much hip as CB’s are. He was so fascinate that he said he didn’t think South Africans can dance like they do back in the States. I was really put off, not by what Chris Brown said but by how the media, entertainment in this case do not show the talent that S.A. has. There are so many people that can dance in this country but they are not given adequate publicity.
Western civilians see Africa as this poverty-stricken country… yes people suffer from hunger, people suffer from diseases, but not all Africans are HIV positive, not all African children are beggars.There are just as much street beggars in the western countries; people get raped especially by their family members. Why hasn’t that made a big deal? Why that hasn’t been constantly in papers? Domestic violence has taken its tall in America, and who ever cared to make a big deal about that?
The media portrays Africa as this place with useless people who can’t even make endeavours to save their lives, which is not true! This has been happening for a long time if not forever and I feel that the media is not only informing people but misinforming them as well. We have the idea that everything that is in the media is true and that leave us narrow-minded. I think it’s about time the media did their job and that includes not misinforming people in order to make profit for their own benefit. Now South Africa is being referred to as this crime hole where you don’t stand a chance of coming out if you happen to get in it. I mean there is crime everywhere. If this is the agenda of the media, then I must surely be mistaken.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Journ 1 - do you agree?
I was told that they would try to dissuade me from doing journalism. I was told that because so many people come to Rhodes to do journalism they make the first year hard, they make it uninteresting and they make sure that the numbers are cut. They were right.
It was with a naïve ambition as to the world changing prospects I held with regard to my future profession that I filled out ‘B Journ’. To me the provided space of the university application sheet held a promise. Not only a promise for my distant future, but a promise to study a degree that I was tailor made for. It was with a full heart and a near romanticised flare that I submitted this application, marred with the attached aspiration of a seemingly untiring reservoir of idealistic ambitions. I maintained that because I was passionate enough, and that because I had a clear prospect of where I would be in five years time no amount of dissuasion could discourage me enough. I was prepared and I was ready for anything thrown my way.
“I heard first year is a waste of time, is second year any better?”
“God, I hope so”.
On my first night at Rhodes, sometime in mid February, I was provided with a sampler as to what I could expect. Numerous sources validated these sentiments and warned me as to what I was getting myself into. My casual reply to each was that I was just going to have to stick it out till next year. Not even the disparaging opinions that were displayed towards the degree at introductory lectures for other subjects seemed enough to serve as any kind of deterrence for my choice.
Despite these imposed preconceptions I started the year and I tried to do so with a clean slate. It was up to journalism to prove them wrong. This never happened. Lecture attendance became a greater and greater scarcity to the point that two weeks on end could be easily missed in the slightest blink of an eye. The depressing thing however was not that I and many others missed innumerable lectures, but rather that it did not seem to matter. I achieved 73% for my exam without really opening a book, and was not at all celebrated in doing so because I was one of many who had sprung this achievement. The problem therefore seemed to become not that there was too much work, but that the work was inconsequential.
As much as I cannot claim to have enjoyed working on what seemed like an eternity on movie reviews, Soapies and news predictions, it was not the act of working that disillusioned me, but rather the fact that the work seemed pointless. Bar a few assignments and a few lectures here and there it seemed like I was wasting my time, and that I had learned or achieved nothing that I could not have done a year earlier in my schoolboy uniform.
Perhaps if I was an anomaly in my convictions I would be less inclined to crystallize this opinion in the form of this assignment. Unfortunately the truth is that I’m not.
Even though this disposition is shared by many of my peers, up to this point I have dealt with purely individual subjective interpretations of first year journalism. This assignment is useless without an opinion provided for the academic reasoning as to why things are the way they are. This is the opinion part of the piece: The reason why journ appears to be a collection of seemingly pointless assignments coupled with relatively inconsequential lecture attendance is because it often is. This is not at all a comment on the lecturers themselves -this is purely because the course has been designed this way, I believe it would be simplistic to assume that it is accidental. The reasons for this could be many I don’t want to concentrate on venturing too many but it may be to ensure that only the most passionate of aspiring journalists proceed to second year, that only the journalists willing to endure first year have this right. I have been informed that second year is much better, so maybe it is true that you have to be willing to suffer the previously described situation in order to qualify for second year. Be that as it may, I obviously don’t. If it is the true intention of journ to discourage first year students, then it has definitely succeeded.
It was with a naïve ambition as to the world changing prospects I held with regard to my future profession that I filled out ‘B Journ’. To me the provided space of the university application sheet held a promise. Not only a promise for my distant future, but a promise to study a degree that I was tailor made for. It was with a full heart and a near romanticised flare that I submitted this application, marred with the attached aspiration of a seemingly untiring reservoir of idealistic ambitions. I maintained that because I was passionate enough, and that because I had a clear prospect of where I would be in five years time no amount of dissuasion could discourage me enough. I was prepared and I was ready for anything thrown my way.
“I heard first year is a waste of time, is second year any better?”
“God, I hope so”.
On my first night at Rhodes, sometime in mid February, I was provided with a sampler as to what I could expect. Numerous sources validated these sentiments and warned me as to what I was getting myself into. My casual reply to each was that I was just going to have to stick it out till next year. Not even the disparaging opinions that were displayed towards the degree at introductory lectures for other subjects seemed enough to serve as any kind of deterrence for my choice.
Despite these imposed preconceptions I started the year and I tried to do so with a clean slate. It was up to journalism to prove them wrong. This never happened. Lecture attendance became a greater and greater scarcity to the point that two weeks on end could be easily missed in the slightest blink of an eye. The depressing thing however was not that I and many others missed innumerable lectures, but rather that it did not seem to matter. I achieved 73% for my exam without really opening a book, and was not at all celebrated in doing so because I was one of many who had sprung this achievement. The problem therefore seemed to become not that there was too much work, but that the work was inconsequential.
As much as I cannot claim to have enjoyed working on what seemed like an eternity on movie reviews, Soapies and news predictions, it was not the act of working that disillusioned me, but rather the fact that the work seemed pointless. Bar a few assignments and a few lectures here and there it seemed like I was wasting my time, and that I had learned or achieved nothing that I could not have done a year earlier in my schoolboy uniform.
Perhaps if I was an anomaly in my convictions I would be less inclined to crystallize this opinion in the form of this assignment. Unfortunately the truth is that I’m not.
Even though this disposition is shared by many of my peers, up to this point I have dealt with purely individual subjective interpretations of first year journalism. This assignment is useless without an opinion provided for the academic reasoning as to why things are the way they are. This is the opinion part of the piece: The reason why journ appears to be a collection of seemingly pointless assignments coupled with relatively inconsequential lecture attendance is because it often is. This is not at all a comment on the lecturers themselves -this is purely because the course has been designed this way, I believe it would be simplistic to assume that it is accidental. The reasons for this could be many I don’t want to concentrate on venturing too many but it may be to ensure that only the most passionate of aspiring journalists proceed to second year, that only the journalists willing to endure first year have this right. I have been informed that second year is much better, so maybe it is true that you have to be willing to suffer the previously described situation in order to qualify for second year. Be that as it may, I obviously don’t. If it is the true intention of journ to discourage first year students, then it has definitely succeeded.
Lets be realistic...
It’s a fact: to many first year students, coming to Rhodes actually gave them a chance to experience the outside world. Free from their parents treating them like infants, they get the opportunity to interact with people with different lifestyles from different backgrounds.
Notably people when they are at Rhodes, tend to adopt fake lifestyles that they did not live while they were still in school. One example is of a friend of mine from res. When we first came here during the O’ week, he avoided alcohol and he was going to church every Sunday. He was just a man of God and successfully avoided all funny stuff. Having too much work, as he explains is one of the causes that made him choose to drink alcohol. Now he cannot do anything without alcohol even when he is studying. But it’s a good thing that it’s working for him even though it’s something that he inherited through stress and ‘peer pressure’.
Another good example is I. Coming from the rural area where I knew that boys have a duty to the field to graze cattle, where they find their own ways to entertain themselves like swimming in the dam and play a stick game has exposed me to a ‘civilized’ environment. I still recall my first day at Rhodes when one girl asked me if I go out and I just replied, “Daily” not knowing that going out here is interpreted daily. I had never been inside the club before and I didn’t know what happening there. I still remember my first day at EQ, watching the sport lights as they rotate on the floor, drinking some ‘sweet alcoholic stuff’ and waking up in the morning on my bed not knowing how did I get there. I started to get more and more addicted to this ‘going out’ thing as I was doing it every weekend. Seeing that my academic performance was bad, I then realized that it’s because this was not the good way for me to live. I then went back to my old way o living.
I am not trying to criticize or offend anybody, and I don’t know if it’s a style or what, but I have noticed that there are lots of guys here who adopt a feminine style. This reminds of the day when I was at Jac lab, when one guys asked me for the pen, and I said, “I’m sorry girl, I don’t have it”. They way he walks, the hair style and even the way he speaks you can bet that he is a girl. On my tutorial, when we were discussing our experiences, one girl made an example of one guy in her history tut. She stated that during the first and the second term, this guy was straight just like other ordinary guys, but the third term, as she said it, he became “homosexual”.
As I said, on this opinion piece I am not trying to criticize or offend anybody, but come on! Why people when they get to varsity they change their lifestyle? Some of them you can see that those things don’t suit them but they still doing it to please other people. My argument as this let us try to live what we are and not imitate other people’s styles because they are ‘a fake’ to us. And they will never work to us as good as it works for those people.
Monday, October 13, 2008
letter to my younger self
Dear Siviwe
I am hoping you are doing well during this time of immense change in your life. This is now a brand new chapter in your life, one that is going to be filled with excitement, fear and life changing experiences.
Orientation is going to be extremely exciting and filled with many social events that you will have to attend so as to integrate well with other 1st years. However my dear friend you will soon find out that when the Big Fish return to their pond, and lectures start, not only are you the youngest but the most vulranable of the fish. You will need to be very aware of the fact that the social events do not end during O-week instead they increase as the term and year progresses. Your duty is to choose your battles well. By that I mean, go out, be merry, but remember what you came here for.
The tools that I am equipping you with are pretty simple and easy to operate. The hammer, it is there to help you with issues of getting hammered(being drunk). Know your limit friend and always be wary of receiving ready-made drinks. The second tool is the screw-driver which helps with issues of sex. I know you are a woman of morals, I trust you will make the right decision regarding this. The third tool is the bolts and nuts which are to help you with school work. This is what you came here for, studying and getting your degree, however growing up and establishing the kind of person you are is part of that.
You will enjoy University to the max but the issue of having too much at your disposal might be over-whelming at times. These are ones best years so make the most of them.
Lots of love
Siviwe
A day in the life of Mamo
Mamo is a timid, shy girl from a small town of Tabanchu in the middle of the Freestate. We are walking through the Botanical gardens because this is her favorite ‘thinking-spot’ on campus. She laughs and shyly says she has had to come here a lot these past few weeks because of the issues in her life.
Mamo is one of six children and coming to Rhodes was just a privilege only available to her. Mamo’s mother is a domestic worker at a neighboring neighborhood, and her father died ten years ago in a nasty car crash. Mamo is currently on Financial Aid and that is how she is funding her studies. I asked her about her first impressions when she arrived at Rhodes and she honestly admitted that these facilities, the people around this place, the privileges available to us at Rhodes is something new to her. When narrating her life to me she had said:
“I grew up in a small home with a large number of people, my father was not at all supportive and my mother being old fashioned and having not completed school she had no intention of changing the condition until he died in a car crash. Since then it has been hard for her to take care of all of us and provide for our needs. Thanks to NSFAS I could come to Rhodes and I’m grateful as I have learnt a lot and grown personally”.
However, this is not all there is to tell about her life at Rhodes during the year of 2008. When Mamo got to Rhodes she had met certain kinds of friends which she describes as “toxic, influential people.” She elaborated and said when she first met the friends she has now, they were seemingly genuine people who had the same aims in life as she did. Slowly and sadly she realized this friendship she was in was more harm than good to her. When she narrates the story of her friends she has tears in her eyes, her voice quivers and her eyes dart around as if to check if no one is hearing her. When she got to the ‘group’ she had to be initiated by going to EQ and drinking herself to a pulp. She admits that she knew that these were not her kind of people but because they were cool and liked by many, she decided to stay. Gradually she started drinking and smoking as a way of life. She describes as being “sucked in the Rhodent life style”. Mamo started dating a guy from Rhodes and things accelerated to a point of climax way too quickly and before she knew it, the innocent girl from Tabanchu was gone and she had lost her virginity. Mamo’s life started to spiral out of control because she fell pregnant and was forced by her friends and her new boyfriend to have an abortion. She then had a terrible time at the hospital because she had complications with her procedure. When Mamo talks about her experience she breaks down and cries and we have to stop the interview.
The next day we conduct the interview in her res room at Helen Joseph. The room is simple and has the bare necessities. She is nervous and she keeps standing up and walking around the room like nothing is wrong. Being herself, she doesn’t let her problems out in the open and she locks a whole lot of baggage inside and pulls off a smile confidently all the time. We continue talking about her life at Rhodes. She sadly tells me her academic progress and sadly says: “I am failing my first year”. When I ask her to elaborate more she says she hasn’t been pulling her weight and failing is a possibility.
Reflecting on Mamo’s story one would think she had a difficult life and her first year is a total write off, but one need to look at the lessons she has learnt, the obstacles she has overcome and realize that Mamo has done a lot of growing up. One would also realize that there is no manual for surviving your first year at Rhodes or any other institution for that matter. She closed off the interview by saying: “ one needs to be true to one’s self before trying to impress others.”
Mamo is one of six children and coming to Rhodes was just a privilege only available to her. Mamo’s mother is a domestic worker at a neighboring neighborhood, and her father died ten years ago in a nasty car crash. Mamo is currently on Financial Aid and that is how she is funding her studies. I asked her about her first impressions when she arrived at Rhodes and she honestly admitted that these facilities, the people around this place, the privileges available to us at Rhodes is something new to her. When narrating her life to me she had said:
“I grew up in a small home with a large number of people, my father was not at all supportive and my mother being old fashioned and having not completed school she had no intention of changing the condition until he died in a car crash. Since then it has been hard for her to take care of all of us and provide for our needs. Thanks to NSFAS I could come to Rhodes and I’m grateful as I have learnt a lot and grown personally”.
However, this is not all there is to tell about her life at Rhodes during the year of 2008. When Mamo got to Rhodes she had met certain kinds of friends which she describes as “toxic, influential people.” She elaborated and said when she first met the friends she has now, they were seemingly genuine people who had the same aims in life as she did. Slowly and sadly she realized this friendship she was in was more harm than good to her. When she narrates the story of her friends she has tears in her eyes, her voice quivers and her eyes dart around as if to check if no one is hearing her. When she got to the ‘group’ she had to be initiated by going to EQ and drinking herself to a pulp. She admits that she knew that these were not her kind of people but because they were cool and liked by many, she decided to stay. Gradually she started drinking and smoking as a way of life. She describes as being “sucked in the Rhodent life style”. Mamo started dating a guy from Rhodes and things accelerated to a point of climax way too quickly and before she knew it, the innocent girl from Tabanchu was gone and she had lost her virginity. Mamo’s life started to spiral out of control because she fell pregnant and was forced by her friends and her new boyfriend to have an abortion. She then had a terrible time at the hospital because she had complications with her procedure. When Mamo talks about her experience she breaks down and cries and we have to stop the interview.
The next day we conduct the interview in her res room at Helen Joseph. The room is simple and has the bare necessities. She is nervous and she keeps standing up and walking around the room like nothing is wrong. Being herself, she doesn’t let her problems out in the open and she locks a whole lot of baggage inside and pulls off a smile confidently all the time. We continue talking about her life at Rhodes. She sadly tells me her academic progress and sadly says: “I am failing my first year”. When I ask her to elaborate more she says she hasn’t been pulling her weight and failing is a possibility.
Reflecting on Mamo’s story one would think she had a difficult life and her first year is a total write off, but one need to look at the lessons she has learnt, the obstacles she has overcome and realize that Mamo has done a lot of growing up. One would also realize that there is no manual for surviving your first year at Rhodes or any other institution for that matter. She closed off the interview by saying: “ one needs to be true to one’s self before trying to impress others.”
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